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Our Bonds Strength
The quality of our bonds
I confess I already felt lonely in a room full of people who I apparently knew. Conversely, I felt home, welcome and embraced in a talk with a stranger who I knew nothing about. Life and its surprises.
Tell me a person who has never experienced extremes in their relationships -social, romantic, work-related, etc. One day, you're celebrating your birthday or a promotion in a trendy restaurant with friends. In another, you’re sitting alone in an huge apartment or lying in hospital bed.
I will say the obvious. Nobody is glad all the time; no one is sad 100% of time. Life is a song with its highs and lows. A path full of curves and obstacles. Like the bumps, holes, rights and lefts of a countryside road. Be cautious while driving, you’ll never know what to expect. But eventually, everyone will experience minor fender benders.
Out of all the powerful speeches at this year’s Oscar ceremony, one caught my attention in particular. The acceptance speech of Robert Downey Jr. caused stir and summarized very well the value of relationships in our lives. Have you realized the significant impact people and ambience have on your success and happiness? Do you want a hint? Look around!
The 96th Academy Awards ceremony
Give yourself permission. Take a critical look at people who you surround yourself with. Are they helping you to move your life forward? Are they cheering for you as Mark Ruffalo did for Emma Stone at the Oscar? Or they keep you standing still? Are they happy with your victories? I'm not making this up. This is so well researched.
The road ahead is full of unexpected detours, twists and hurdles; no one is exempt. Each person encounters challenges and hardships throughout their lifetime. This is an undeniable reality. The bonds we forge with others provide solace and strength, guiding us through turbulent periods and fortifying our resolve.
“Relationship, like car, should undergo regular services to make sure they are still roadworthy.”
Our Emotional Tangles
Humans are social beings. It's in our DNA to build connections, to interact with others. The quality of our relationships play a vital role in our happiness and overall well-being. Forming and nurturing strong interpersonal bonds is a fundamental part of our lives, driven by our innate need for social connection.
Positive relationships not only bring us joy but also contribute to improved health and even a longer lifespan. They are integral to our emotional experiences, evoking feelings of contentment, happiness, and calmness. However, relationships can also provoke negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, and loneliness when they are toxic or non-existent.
No life is free from difficulties. Growing is painful, so is living in mediocrity. Social media platforms romanticize, idealize human lives and connections. They are bubbles of curated lives. Showcases of perfect lives, ready to be consumed, thirsty for attention. But what is your definition of a perfect life? Be certain there is no entire truth of any life in there.
Source: @thetwistedthoughts
Yeah, the neighbor's grass is always greener. It's easy to watch feeds with curated lives all day long and say: "Why everybody else seems to have a happy life?" or "How they have all figured out?", or even worse "Why I am the only one who is not happy?". Stop distracting yourself.
Stop chasing external approval to fill up your internal voids. It’s a waste of energy and time. Constant comparison leads to dissatisfaction loops. And trust me, you don't want to go down into this rabbit hole. You already realized the truth. The emotional factor influences all aspects of your life.
Disregard this false belief that if you're not happy all the time, you're not doing the right thing. Just as physical fitness requires balance, so does our social fitness to achieve an optimal equilibrium in life. Don't fool yourself. Happiness should not be your end goal.
Instead, focus on the journey. Focus on the boring stuff that most people neglect. Focus on growing your skills and getting better. Forget about hacks and the shortcuts, and keep showing up day after day. This is how you get your results and where 80% of success and self-fulfillment lay. It's never too late to restart, to take that course, to ask someone out.
“Unlike 'real relationships', 'virtual relationships' are easy to enter and to exit. They look smart and clean, feel easy to use, when compared with the heavy, slow-moving, messy real stuff.”
The Tree Concept
What you choose to be? Root, branch or leaf?
I'm an outdoor enthusiast. When the weather allows me, I put on my shoes and go for a hike. I always liked to feel and observe the movements of mother nature. Amidst the urban life chaos, being in nature remains my source of inspiration and haven.
Life is seasonal, so are we. The changes in our lives, consciously or unconsciously, follow a natural pattern. I like to view people in my life through the lens of nature. That’s why the concept of leaf, root, and branch archetypes offers me a fascinating perspective. Actually, it helps me to analyze my relationships and understand the roles people play in my life. And vice versa.
Leaf people: transient, entering our lives briefly to impart wisdom or joy. They infuse our days with fresh insights and vitality, much like the lively leaves of a tree. Yet, as seasons shift, they too may depart, having graced our journey with their ephemeral beauty and teachings.
Root people: the bedrock of our lives, akin to a tree's roots that stabilize and nourish. They are the cherished ones - family, lifelong friends, mentors - who offer steadfast support, love and guidance. Their silent, profound influence fortifies us, shaping our identity and resilience.
Branch people: our companions in growth and exploration, sharing our interests and collaborative ventures. Their supportive presence offers camaraderie and fosters mutual growth. These relationships, like tree branches, may fluctuate but always propel us towards new horizons and shared experiences.
In the garden of our lives, people come and go, only a few stays. But each one of them plays a distinct and vital role in our personal growth and emotional landscape. Our social connections significantly shape and impact our mental and physical well-being.
“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.”
I invite you to recognize these bond styles - the fleeting yet impactful leaf people, the foundational and nurturing root people, and the branching fellows who grow and explore life's journeys with us.
My friend, cultivate and maintain fulfilling relationships to live a prosperous life. Seasons pass, you remain. That’s it for today.
Talk to you next week.
Light and peace,
—FMV
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