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What is your predominant element?
🎼 📖 Read Intellego #030 by listening to:
Reminiscences
The old must die for the new to come. This week, I revisited notes and memories in my journals. Yes, I have some. I write daily about anything that comes to my mind.
Perhaps it's Mercury retrograde bringing to the surface unresolved issues from the past and inviting us to bring peace, and forgiveness to them. Maybe not.
I welcome the opportunity. It’s the perfect time to review impasses related to people, communication and processes.
So, allow me to reframe a particular episode of my journey. Ready? Here we go.
It was 11 AM on a Tuesday. I had just finished an interview for a senior position. My heart was almost jumping out of my mouth.
I was nervous and excited about the selection process. Those were the days when I had grand ambitions to climb the corporate ladder.
In the afternoon, I received a 15-minute call from the same person from the HR department with the interview's feedback.
She told me without hesitation: "You're not a good fit. You're not the ideal candidate for the position and you don't have a profile to be a good leader."
My throat went dry. I asked if she could give me more details to collect as much information as possible to improve further.
She beat around the bush, alleged I was too passive in the interview and finished saying: "I have nothing else to say."
I am tranquil and introverted person. But I left that meeting irritated, unmotivated, and ready to resign from that job.
My mixed phlegmatic-melancholic temperament turned into a choleric storm in seconds. My calmness became aggressiveness in the blink of an eye.
Now reflecting on that conflicting situation, I believe there were failures on both sides in adapting to the other's communication style and personal temperament.
We all have those revelation moments. One more lesson learned.
Here is my conclusion: we cannot change our disposition, our natural way of being. But we can refine ourselves and learn new skills on how to behave and communicate.
Life is an eternal construction and deconstruction. Don't give up! Persist until it makes sense to you. Nothing is permanent in the universe.
Eight months after that unfortunate episode, I became a team leader. That negative feedback propelled me to find a better version of myself that I didn’t know exists.
“Good communication can work miracles; poor communication can cost you dearly.”
Mood tendencies
How can you identify someone's personality types?
Understanding people's temperaments is crucial in human relations because it helps us appreciate and navigate the diverse ways people think, feel, and behave.
By recognizing and respecting these differences, we can improve communication, reduce conflicts, and foster more harmonious interactions.
Knowing that a colleague or a sibling is melancholic might encourage us to be more patient and detailed in our explanations.
While understanding a friend's sanguine nature can help us engage them in lively and spontaneous activities.
This awareness enhances empathy and cooperation, leading to stronger and more effective relationships.
Phlegmatic, sanguine, choleric, and melancholic. The four mood temperaments are personality frameworks that describe different emotional and behavioral tendencies.
Water, air, fire, and earth. Each temperament aligns with one of the four elements highlighting their intrinsic nature.
Identifying someone's mood temperament involves observing their behaviors, reactions, and interactions over time. Here are some key traits to look for:
Phlegmatic (water): people are usually calm, reliable, and compassionate, often acting as good listeners, peacemakers and providing stability in relationships.
Sanguine (air): individuals who are outgoing, talkative, typically sociable, enthusiastic, and lively, often thriving in social settings and bringing positive energy to their interactions.
Choleric (fire): people who are ambitious, assertive, goal-oriented, and natural leaders. They often take charge in groups settings and drive projects forward.
Melancholic (earth): they are gentle, thoughtful, detail-oriented, and often introspective, valuing deep connections and careful planning.
I believe we all carry the four elements and these personality traits within us. Some more, some less. That's what makes us unique.
We're multi-potential beings. Learning and teaching skills are a continuous endeavor, driven by our desire to master our own lives.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
Adjusted Communication
Adapting your communication to someone's temperament can enhance your interactions and relationships. Here are some tips for each temperament:
Phlegmatic: adopt a calm and reassuring tone. They value harmony and stability, so be considerate in your approach. Listen actively and show appreciation for their support and reliability. Avoid confrontational language and create a peaceful environment for your conversations.
Sanguine: be enthusiastic and engaging. Use positive language, share stories, and allow for some spontaneity in your conversations. They appreciate humor and lively discussions, so keep the mood light and fun.
Choleric: be straight to the point. They value efficiency and results, so focus on clear, concise communication. Show respect for their opinions and be prepared to discuss goals and strategies. Avoid unnecessary small talk and be assertive in your responses.
Melancholic: be patient and detailed. They appreciate thorough explanations and thoughtful discussions. Show empathy and understanding, and give them time to process information. Avoid rushing them and be supportive of their need for precision and order.
By tailoring your communication style to match the temperament of the person you're interacting with, you can build stronger, more effective relationships.
Have you noticed any specific temperaments in your interactions recently?
“You cannot control the behavior of others, but you can always choose how you respond to it.”
Negative Aspects
Shadow behaviors are the less desirable traits that can emerge under stress or when the temperaments are imbalanced. Here are the shadow behaviors for each of the four temperaments:
Phlegmatic: Typically calm and reliable, phlegmatic people can become overly passive and resistant to change. Their desire for peace and stability might lead to avoidance of conflict and a lack of initiative, making them seem indifferent or unmotivated.
Sanguine: While lively and sociable, sanguine people can become overly talkative and distractible. They might struggle with follow-through, which can make them superficial or unreliable when they don’t commit to tasks or relationships.
Choleric: Choleric people, known for their assertiveness and leadership, can become domineering and impatient. Their drive for control and results can lead to a lack of empathy, making them appear aggressive or insensitive to others' feelings.
Melancholic: usually thoughtful and detail-oriented, can become overly critical and pessimistic. Their perfectionism might lead to procrastination or an inability to see the bigger picture, causing them to get stuck in analysis paralysis.
Recognizing these shadow behaviors can help in managing them and fostering healthier interactions. Have you noticed any of these traits in yourself or others?
"People will notice the change in your attitude towards them, but they won't notice their behavior that made you change."
Final Thoughts
We will always have problems. They’re part of life. But you choose how to approach the challenges you face.
Look for tools to better relate to people and situations. Well-being is about that. It's simply having the proper toolkit to overcome problems and difficulties.
Understanding the four temperaments offers valuable insights into human behavior, preferences and intrinsic nature.
Recognizing these traits and mood patterns helps in identifying suitable professions that align with each temperament’s strengths, leading to greater personal and professional fulfillment.
Whether nurturing others, engaging in dynamic social interactions, leading with passion, or pursuing analytical endeavors, each temperament brings unique and valuable contributions to society.
Ultimately, it all comes down to self-knowledge. Knowing yourself is liberating. I encourage you to take this journey within. Wait no more.
“If you don't understand people, you don't understand business.”
Talk to you next week.
Light and peace,
—FMV
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✍️ Written by Fabíola Maia-Veres every Tuesday at 7pm.
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